And here I write… another excuse, another disappointment.
One of my early posts here in this blog was a “promise” to shed some pounds… live a healthier life. Unfortunately, that goal is yet to be reached. I can list down all the things that kept me from losing weight. But I have to stop kidding myself. The only thing that kept me was myself. I can’t control eating. My tummy is full but my mouth is hungry. All the midnight snacks most definitely did lot of damage too. I didn’t weigh myself recently (‘coz I was ashamed) but for sure I gained a lot.
Being back in the nest (living with Mom & Dad again), there’s always food. Not to mention lots of fast food joints nearby our apartment. It’s not my folks’ fault, it’s not the restaurants’ fault, it’s moi.
Earlier today I was buying lunch at the cafeteria where I work and the cashier (who is Mom’s good friend & co-worker) loudly commented on my supersized physique. I don’t mind a lil criticism here & there, but does it have to be so loud & so public? It’s embarrassing. Kinda chips off my already low confidence. I just brushed it off and made a funny joke about how “food loves me so much it won’t leave my body.”
Did she comment out of concern? Probably. Did she have to announce it to the whole floor? I don’t think other people mind not hearing about it during lunch.
It hurts because it’s true.
Why is my life a constant battle between my love of good food and not getting fat?